The latest from our man in Iraq.

[ People keep asking what we have heard from Chris, so here you go --  The letter we received on April 30th. ]

Hullo Parents,
   So, this cadence above actually is not true.  Our coffee does not taste like terpentine.  Out here it tastes like mold.  The plastic thermites that hold the coffee absorb tastes.  I usually no longer drink black coffee.  Sugar and whitener cover the taste well enough.
   Tonight is the president's speech about what he is planning to do.  We are fairly sure what this will entail but I am getting up at 3:30 to hear it anyway.
   I have recieved the box of books you sent me.  I have gotten through the first two Fafhrd and the Gray Mouser books.  I also got the form for the physical from Atlanta.  I am starting to lean towards Ringling.  As you stated it is probably a better school.
   We have recieved two media persons: A journalist and a photographer.  The photographer is fun to watch.  He runs around trying to get "the shot."  He has taken pictures of people doing pushups, sleeping, playing football and even of some playing golf.  A sargeant recieved a golf club in the mail and uses an American flag to mark the hole.  It should be a fun picture.  I like that the photographer is so enthusiastic about his job.  They are from the AP United Press (I think) so you can keep an eye out for them.
   Earlier this week I had KP.  That has to be one of the worst details in the Army.  After dinner I washed dishes until my hands pruned and hurt. 
   I almost got in trouble there.  Lunch is MREs so I had no work.  I told everyone in sight I was going to visit my friend in suport.  I am not often by headquarters so I don't see my roommate, Dan, often.  I couldn't find a sargeant but I thought I was good anyway.  Well, a shipment came in that needed to be downloaded and noone seemed to know where I was.  I did tell them.  I think they were frightened that they would be yelled at for knowing.  I was heckled for the rest of the day but no real trouble.  Only bad thing was my company forgot to pick me up.  One of the cooks had to drive me back.
   Funny news story last week: The Brits were training near the border.  On hearing the gun shots, Iraq forces advanced and tried to surrender.  In response to this brazen move the Brits waved their arms and yelled "Go Back.  Not Yet."  Methinks this is a good sign.  We will see.
   I really don't have much to say.  We are starting to get the stereotypical desert heat.  Other than my killer farmer's tan I am aquiring, I have no more news.
                                     I love Yall,

Transcriber's notes: 
    The letter is not dated.  The postmark on the envelope is April 9th but the events he is describing suggest it was written March 19th.  (Immediately before the start of the war.)
    I have tried to preserve the original spelling (since Chris has many fans of his creative spelling) but he seems to be losing some of his talent for misspelling things that other people would never attempt to misspell.
   I believe the journalist and photographer he describes to be Chris Tomlinson and John Moore, respectively, and he is correct that they work for the AP news service.